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  • I'm a creator, entrepreneur, author of DREAM YEAR, and aspiring novelist. My wife Ainsley and I live in Virginia Beach with our five kids Wyatt, Dylan, Cody, Annie & Millie

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Your speaking my language Ben. This is something I fight with daily. I've set out to recapture what I had before all of these distractions. To be present… in my home… with my kids… my wife… and our life. It's a battle. FYI I have a book for this... ;)

I have a feeling there will be many versions of "Cats in the Cradle" written in the next 10-20 years.

Great thoughts, Ben! I, too feel so frustrated by these very things!

This is a good word, Ben--Just this week I set some specific parameters around my online time. It's just been spilling over into too many areas and I can't have it stealing from what matters most. On the flip side, though, I need time that can be designated as guilt-free time to work, create, research, connect. Being specific has helped all of this not to become one big gray area. Thanks for speaking to this!

Excellent, Ben!

To me, it seems that banning just buries the Real conversation to be had further down. Why not just enroll your kids in the object of your affection. Why not bring your children into the conversation fully and tell them what the iphone, moleskine, and computer are really all about. They’ll get it. And they’ll want to find the thing they choose to give their affection.

here here.

You are so right, Ben. We must do a better job protecting our time. Putting down our phones and closing laptops. And also, saving the sweet moments for nobody but us. We don't have to capture everything, and we certainly don't have to share it.

Do it.

When we were in N. Carolina with a church plant, the laptop was always out, and I was often working on it. We no longer have a laptop, and the desktop is not in our main living space. It forces intentionality while at home. Of course, the iphone challenges this...

Since I work from a home office, I battle this daily BUT we have tried to: 1) Be very intentional with time 2) Explain things to our kids and let them be a part of it (as much as they can). Integrated lifestyle. Our kids don't know the typical 8-5 "Mom and Dad are at work" deal.

The biggest danger for me has less to do with the object and more to do with presence. It's easy for me to be HERE (physically) but have my mind somewhere else. That robs them more than anything and I am trying to make sure I don't do that. Being present matters.

This is very helpful, thank you Ben.

For the record, I'm horrible at this.

I had the greatest experience at church on Sunday.Part of it was due to me leaving my iPhone in the car. The most freeing thing in the world is leaving my iPhone on my desk when I go to a meeting. It's become an issue of self-control and discipline for me.
When I was in Austin recently for SXSW there were THOUSANDS of people standing in the middle of somewhere on their phones. They were not present.

This same thing has been plaguing me for the last week. Thanks for putting it into words.

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