The Trouble with Conviction

It feels almost indistinguishable from personal offense.

It comes from people we'd rather not listen to. In fact, we'll search for any way possible to disqualify them from truth-speaking in our lives.

"They're not on my level."
"They have it out for me."
"I knew I couldn't trust them."

When I was stepping down from Reston Community Church in February 2008, I asked a group of five local pastors to assess our church. My friend Mike McKinley was sitting on that panel, and he said something to me that stung like a bee: "We need to make certain you're not leaving because of sin in your life."

I've never told Mike this, but that made me angry. "You don't really know me," I wanted to say. "How about if we look for sin in your life!" was another thought. "You didn't plant a church!" But now I realize that Mike was the only real truth-speaker in my life. God used him to help me do a little inward analysis.

If we don't pray, "Search my heart Oh God," he will do it anyway.

Have you ever noticed that God never used kings to speak truth to other kings in the Bible? He always used grungy vagabonds who ate insects and lived in the desert. (Doesn't make me feel so bad to be just a blogger these days. =)

But seriously. Disqualifying truth-speakers because of personal achievement would be like the entire Washington Redskin offensive line telling Joe Gibbs to sit down and shut up because he never played pro football.

It pays to at least process our emotional flare-ups. That should tell us something. Conviction feels almost indistinguishable from personal offense. Remember what Paul told the Corinthians:

"Even if I caused you sorrow by my letter, I do not regret it. Though I did regret it—I see that my letter hurt you, but only for a little while— yet now I am happy, not because you were made sorry, but because your sorrow led you to repentance. For you became sorrowful as God intended and so were not harmed in any way by us."

Besides, when we ignore the prophets, God has to send in the real jackasses. (Numbers 22)

Comments

[Leonce Crump II]

Ben,

Great thought bro. I really enjoy when you dig in and press the buttons people(especially leaders) would rather keep covered.

[Ted]

Great post, Ben!

[brad moffatt]

Your post today is written for me. Seriously - thank you

[Daniel Decker]

Love this. I think we all need to be reminded not just about hearing truth from others but also about being the people who aren’t afraid to speak the truth (in love) to others. Truth can sting which indeed causes many to avoid it, especially when it comes to speaking truth to someone in an elevated “position” or “status.” There’s that fear of offending them. I think that causes many people to sit idle on things they wish they would, and even feel called to, address. Time to put a stop to all the politically correct shenanigans and people pleasing… just be honest with each other, regardless of stature or position. Conviction is a two way deal.

[donna gray]

Love this post... I'm going through this right now with a church leader... I felt I needed to speak the truth in love and there was much opposition..

[Don @abovethenorm]

Thanks for being willing to say what others are unwilling to approach. Really enjoying your writing.

[Mike Filicicchia]

I tend to disqualify truth-speakers because it brings up really painful stuff in my life to feel like I'm not fully understood. If someone speaks truth into my life without showing me they see me and get me, I tend to lump them in with all the people from my past who judged me from the outside as someone incapable. The solution to this for me was goin back and working through those episodes. Maybe some of you can relate. It's an amazing thing (and very difficult for me) to be able to take input from someone who may not even know you much, but still sees warning signs in your life. I think God's getting me there as he heals me from my past.