Speaking Piper-eese

I have learned to sound much more intellectual as a pastor by changing all of my sentence structures from the active mode to the passive mode... and by using the word ~ "much." It helps me sound like John Piper. Here are a few examples...

Old: "We can learn a lot from this."
New: "There is much to be learned in all of this."

You can even speak Piper-eese at restaurants and perphaps impress your reformed waitresses...

Old: "Can I have some ketchup?"
New: "There is much ketchup to be desired on this plate."

Filed under: attempted humor =)

Comments

[jason allen]

lol. Nice. I'll try that at my local coffee shop today.

[Truitt]

piper…ugh.
ketchup…yum.

[van.diesel]

NICE. This is the funniest thing i have read all day.

Truitt, i almost publically berated you for saying "Piper...ugh" but then I thought it would have been much worse had you said "Piper...yum."

[bill streger]

And for fun, you can just hyphenate a ton of phrases together: "There is much tomato-based, red-colored, thick-bodied ketchup to be desired on this white-hued, half-emptied, slightly-chipped plate.

Fun with Piper - I love it.

[aaron]

i like the photo you used. it's not flattering. jazz hands!

[Philip Canarsky]

That is absolutely hilarious!!!!

[Jonathan]

Truly funny stuff.
The last one also kinda works for Yoda.

[bill streger]

By the way, the correct caption for that photo is "I'm a ten point calvinist." ;)

[Jason]

ROFL

Love Piper and his stuff (but yea, "yumm" would go a bit far).

I preached some Piper stuff while in Africa and here...had to translate it back into the active to be understood. ;-)

[Hale-Yeah!]

Ben, it looks like the comments are working again for me. it must have been some kind of fluke deal. I can't remember my witty Piper joke, but I will say that I love that guy. "collecting shells...THATS A TRAGEDY!" Classic.

[Mike Edwards]

Dude..I love it.